Promise to leave town, or I'll blow it.
Okay. I give up.
Blow it.
- What? - Go on. Blow it.
- You think I won't? - I- I think you won't.
Okay.
Five, four-
- Any last words? - The new curtains are hideous.
Good-bye, John.
- What the hell was that? - What?
You said good-bye.
[All Shouting]
- [Car Alarms Beeping] - [Man] Shut off the gas!
[Shouting Continues]
[Man Shouts]
[Man Chattering]
Jane.
[Beeping]
[Elevator Bell Dings]
## [Tango]
Madame.
Thought of a number of lines for this moment.
"Thought I'd just drop in."
- "Hey, doll. Thanks for givin' me the shaft." - Nice.
So, what did you decide?
I want a divorce.
I like it.
You proposed to me here, so it has agreeable symmetry.
Coat, sir?
- May I sit? - No.
[Gun Cocks]
- [Man] Champagne, sir? - No. Champagne's for celebrating.
I'll have a martini.
I'm fine. Thank you.
I like the dress.
I'm in mourning.
You should wear it more often.
So, what do you want, John?
We have an unusual problem, Jane.
You obviously want me dead.
- Hmm. - And I'm less and less concerned of your well-being.
So, what do we do?
Do we shoot it out here? Hope for the best?
Mm. Well, that would be a shame...
because they would probably ask me to leave once you're dead.
Dance with me.
You don't dance.
Just part of my cover, sweetheart.
Was sloth part of it too?
Ow.
You think this story's gonna have a happy ending?
Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet.
[Glass Shatters]
Satisfied?
Not for years.
That's all John, sweetheart.
Why is it you think we failed?
Because we were leading separate lives? Or was it all the lying that did us in?
I have a theory.
- Newly formed. - I'm breathless to hear it.
- You killed us. - Provocative.
You approached our marriage like a job-
something to be reconned, planned and executed.
And you avoided it.
What do you care, if I was just a cover?
Well, who said you were just a cover?
- Wasn't I? - Well, wasn't I?
I have to- Excuse me.
No exits up there, Jane.
Be cold, John. She's a liar.
Be super cold.
[Whimpering] Oh! Oh! Oh!
[Explosion]
[All Screaming]
[Man] Come on, honey! This way!
[All Shouting, Screaming]
[Horn Honks]
- Do you know that you're ticking? - [Ticking]
Get back! Get back! Get back!
[All Scream]
- [Man] Limo, sir? - [Siren Blares]
Oh!
[Groans]
[Cell Phone Rings]
Jane Smith.
That's the second time you tried to kill me.
[Jane] Oh, come on. It was just a little bomb.
I want you to know. I'm goin' home, and I'm gonna burn everything I ever bought you.
- I'll race you there, baby. - [Phone Beeps]
[Horn Honks]
[Beeping]
[Beeps, Line Ringing]
- [Rings, Beeps] - You there yet?
The first time we met, what was your first thought?
You tell me.
I thought-
I thought you looked like Christmas morning.
I don't know how else to say it.
And why are you telling me this now?
I guess, in the end, you start thinkin' about the beginning.
So there it is. I thought you should know.
So how about it, Jane? Hmm?
I thought-
[Exhales]
I thought that you were the most beautiful mark I'd ever seen.
- So it was all business, yeah? - All business.
- From the go. - Cold, hard math.
Thank you. That's what I needed to know.
- Okay. - Okay.
[Beeps]
[Exhales, Mutters]
[Tires Squeal]
Aaah!
- [Dog Barks] - Hey, John.
Hey, Bill.
- Uh, are you all right? - Yeah.
- Okay. - [Grunts]
Uh, by the way, uh, John, your car is hangin' out over the, uh, sidewalk here.
- Yeah. Thanks, Bill. - Okay. Have a good night.
Good night.
- [Cat Screeches] - [John Mutters]
[Car Ignition Indicator Beeping]
[Ignition Indicator Beeping]
[Bolt Locks]
[Groans]
Ow!
Shit.
- [Shotgun Cocks] - [Cartridge Clatters On Ground]
You still alive, baby?
[Groaning]
[Gun Clattering]
- [Shotgun Cocks] - [Groans]
[Grunts]
Your aim's as bad as your cookin', sweetheart.
- [Gas Hisses] - Yeah.
And that's saying something.
##[Funk]
[Groans]
- ##[Continues] - Come on, honey.
Come to daddy.
Who's your daddy now?
- ##[Continues] - [Grunting]
Oh!
[Grunting]
[Both Panting]
##[Ends]
[Panting]
[Dog Barking In Distance]
I can't do it.
Don't! Come on!
Come on!
You want it?
It's yours.
Oh, I can't-
[Grunts]
[Panting]
[Moaning, Panting]
[Both Panting]
[Chuckles]
Come on. Mmm.
Hiya, stranger.
Hiya back.
[Knocking]
[Faint Chattering On Police Radio]
- Yeah? - [Suzy] Is everything okay?
We heard an awful ruckus.
No. Everything's fine here. Yeah. It's great.
[Martin] So you guys are- You're fine?
Yeah. Couldn't be better.
Oh. Nice. You guys- But are-
- Suzy. Martin. Officers. - Have a nice night.
Looks like you're redecorating. It's very-
Yeah. Shame about the teak.
##[Soft Rock]
[Chuckles]
##[Fades]
[John] That left of yours. A thing of beauty.
- [Jane] You take it well. - Thank you.
[Laughs]
- That vacation in Aspen- - Mm.
You left early. Why?
- Jean-Luc Gaspard. - Oh! God! [Chuckles] Oh.
- Yeah. - I wanted him.
- Forget it. - Wow.
You didn't hear me that night the chopper dropped me off for our anniversary dinner?
- No. - No?
Mm. Percussion grenades.
I was partially deaf that night.
- I'm slightly color blind. - Mm.
- Retinal scarring. - I can't feel anything in these three fingers.
- Three ribs. Broken eye socket. - Mm. Oh.
- Perforated eardrum. Mm. - Mmm.
You ever have trouble sleeping after?
- Nope. - Yeah. Me neither.
[Man Shouting]
[Mouthing Words]
Aaah!
Go, go, go, go, go! Look out!
Move.
Shoes.
I was given 48 hours to take you out.
- Same. - Jesus. Where's the trust?
What do you expect?
[Whispers] Why do I get the girl gun?
- Are you kiddin' me? - No.
Thank you.
[Door Opens]
[Footsteps Thumping]
[Door Opens]
[Beeping]
[Grunts]
[Beeps]
[Man] Come on! They're outside!
[Groans]
[Grunts]
Colemans.
Guy's had my barbecue set for months.
I was never in the Peace Corps.
What? No. I really liked that about you.
- Well, maybe this honesty thing isn't such a good idea. - No, no, no.
- I didn't go to M.I.T. - Really?
Notre Dame. Art history major.
- Art? - History.
- It's reputable. - Okay.
[Electricity Crackles, Engine Starts]
[Tires Squealing]
[Groans]
Fuckers get younger every year.
[Thud, Thud]
##[Radio: Pop]
I have to tell you. I never really liked your cooking.
- It's not your gift. - Hmm.
Baby, I've never cooked a day in my life.
L-Temp girls cooked.
- ##[Continues] - Web of lies!
## [Singing Along With Radio]
[John] I like it. Deal with it.
##[Continues]
- We got company. - What?
Shit.
- Baby, hold steady. Now! - It's called evasive driving, sweetheart.
[Groans] Hold still!
This thing's all over the place. How do you drive these things anyways?
Honey!
- [Groans] - Transmission's terrible.
- Honey, let me drive. - I got it.
Move over. Move.
I'm the suburban housewife, sweetheart.
- You move. - Fine. Go.
- Go. - Go.
- Go! - Go!
[Grunts]
They're bulletproof.
You know, honey, I should probably tell you.
I was married once before.
- Are you out of your mind? What is wrong with you? - You're what's wrong with me.
- It was a drunken Vegas thing! - Oh, that's better!
- Stop it. - That's much better. That's great.
Stop it.
[Groans]
Go, go, go!
[Groans]
- [Groans] - What's her name and Social Security number?
No. You're not gonna kill her.
[Horn Honking]
[Screams]
These doors are handy.
You know, sweetheart, you're being a bit hypocritical.
It's not like you're some beacon of truth.
John, my parents-
They died when I was five. I'm an orphan.
Who-Who was that kindly fella who gave you away at our wedding?
Paid actor.
- I said- I said I saw your dad on Fantasy Island! - I know.
You know, I don't even want to talk about it.
- You got it? - Got it.
- Any time. - I got 'em.
##[Continues]
[Click]
We're gonna have to redo every conversation we've ever had.
I'm Jewish.
[John] I can't believe I brought my real parents to our wedding.
Disgusting. How could you serve this to someone?
Excuse me, ma'am. Is it possible to get this reheated? Miss?
- Miss, I'm talkin' to you. Excuse me. - [Taps Table]
- Jesus, Johnny. - Good morning, Eddie.
Morning.
It's good to see you're okay, man.
Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lyin' bitch.
Hmm. This lying bitch?
Guess it was just wishful thinking.
- I'm sorry. - [John] Eddie, we got-
- It's nice to see you, Jane. - Eddie. Eddie, focus, please.
- We got problems. - You got problems?
Crack addicts got problems, my friend. You two are smoked.
- Maybe. - Maybe?
John, you got the entire agency gunnin' for ya.
- Probably have her agency gunnin' for you too. - What about you?
- Me? - Where are you at?
Where am I at?
I find myself dragging my feet this morning.
I think you owe me a little money anyway.
- What do you think? - We don't understand each other. And I understand that.
But I don't need those looks from you. I've been in his life a long time.
- Eddie, Eddie. Focus. Focus. - I've been in his life for a long time.
I'm pissed off. They blew up my house. They shot at my wife. My own company.
If she works for who the street...
says that she works for...
you're Macy's and Gimbel's.
She would be the WE channel, and you would be...
whatever channel it is that competes against the WE channel.
- Know what I'm saying? You following me? - Mm-hmm.
Johnny, the point is simple. Once you guys decide to get off the reservation, that's it.
- Then you're off the reservation. - Eddie, how bad?
- How bad is it? - Mm.
You remember Canada.
- Ooh. - That was kid stuff next to what you're up against.
- That was you? - Oh, is that a turn-on?
- She tried to kill you with a car. Not my business. - Stop.
A good friend stays out of it. I understand. This is the facts.
If you two separate from each other, you got a shot.
Not a great shot, Johnny, but you got a shot.
You two stay together, you're dead.
Unless you can find something that they want more than they want you.
Found him. He's being held in subbasement "D" of the federal courthouse.
High security. Motion and thermal.
Power's on a city grid.
This is as far as we go, Jane.
- [Jane On Headset] Right. Thanks for everything. - Good luck, babe.
[Horns Honking]
[Man] We have this northwesterly flow...
coming down through the middle of the country.
So we're seeing successive areas-
Do one of you guys mind changing the channel?
- One is moving in right now. - [Whistles] Nick.
Would you please get off your fat ass and change the channel?
I know. It's tough. Thank you.
That's going to make things even colder than they are right now.
Now, 52-
- [Chattering] - [Man] You guys go.
[Jane] Thirty-second window. I cut the power, you grab the kid.
- Simple and clean. Got it? - Got it.
So tell me. How many?
Does it matter?
- Should I go first? - Okay.
- I don't exactly keep count, but- - [Cocks Gun]
I would say...
- high 50s, low 60s. - Mm-hmm.
Been around the block, but...
- you know, the important thing is- - 312.
312?
- How? - Some were two at a time.
Oh.
- Honey. - I'm- I'm- I'm-
Baby's in the crib.
Are you counting innocent bystanders?
- [John On TV] Monitoring the perimeter? - I checked the perimeter.
- What about the police bands? - I am on the police bands.
- Connected to the main- - This is not my first time.
I think we've established that.
Oh. [Chuckles]
All right.
[Electronic Twittering]
[Jane] Turn left.
Left, John.
Left!
You don't have to talk to me like that. Okay?
- Be nice. - Left, please?
I can't go left. You see?
There is no left. Look.
I have straight. I have back the way I came.
There's no left. Which way do you want me to go?
- Just stay there and wait for my mark. - See what I'm sitting in?
See that?
- Take your time. - Yeah. All right. Stay.
Stay there. Wait for my mark. I'll find it.
Wait for my mark.
Almost there. I don't know what happened. Just hold on.
What are you-John, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Kill the lights on my signal.
Now. Kill the lights.
Jane, kill the lights.
- Hey. Who's that? - Where?
[John] No, no. Not now! Turn 'em back on!
- Idiot! - [Alarm Blaring]
- Here they come. - Hey, Nick. Uncuff me.
[John] Turn 'em on! Turn 'em back on!
- [Gunshots] - Turn 'em back on!
- Turn it back on. - All right.
- [John] Give me light. - [Jane] Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
[Beeping]
- Nick. - Shut up.
[Alarm Continues]
[Thud]
Give me a gun.
- Nick, give me a gun. - Zip it!
[All Scream]
- [Grunts] - [Gunshots]
[Alarm Continues]
[Coughs]
[Man On TV, Indistinct]
[Groans] Open the door.
Back there.
Look out. Move, move, move.
[Groans]
This guy's a wily one. [Grunts]
[Grunting]
Shut the door.
Move. Move. The other way.
How's this work?
- [Groans] - [Jane] I told you to wait for my signal.
- You didn't wait for my signal. - Well, I improvised.
- You deviated from the plan. - The plan was flawed.
- The plan was not flawed. - Anal.
- Organized. - Jane, 90% of this job is instinct.
Your instincts set off every alarm in the building.
My instincts got the job done. May not have been the Jane show.
No. It was the John show. It was half-assed. Like Christmas. Like our anniversary.
Like the time you forgot to bring my mother's birthday present.
- Your fake mother's birthday. - The point is, you are always the first to break team.
You don't want a team. You- You want a servant for hire.
I want someone I can count on.
- Jane, there's no air around you anymore. - Oh.
Okay. What is that supposed to mean?
It means there's no room for mistakes. No mistakes whatsoever.
No spontaneity. I mean, who can answer to that?
Well, you don't have to. Do you? 'Cause this isn't even a real marriage.
- [Benjamin] Who are you people? - Shut up!
Well.
[John] So, now I realize...
you witnessed the missus and I working through some domestic issues.
- Oh. - That's regrettable.
But don't take that as a sign of weakness. That would be a mistake on your part.
Now tell us what you know.
Why do both our bosses want you dead?
- You unders- - [Tapping]
Honey, please.
Wrap it up.
Maybe it's not such a good idea to undermine me in front of the hostage.
Sends a mixed message.
Sorry.
Girls.
- Okay. - [Clears Throat]
- Where was I? - "A mistake on your part."
Shut up. Options. I'm gonna lay out your options for you.
- Okay? Option "A." - If I could-
Shut up. Option "A."
You talk. We listen. No pain.
Option "B." You don't talk.
I remove your thumbs with my pliers.
It will hurt. Option "C."
I like to vary the details a bit, but the punch line is you die.
- Benjamin. - Okay.
- We're impatient people. - Okay. - [Sighs]
Can I get a soda?
Or a juice or, uh, some-
- [Phone Bell Dings] - [Groans] "A." "A." Option "A." Aaah!
- Oh, that hurt. - Okay. That was a nice shot.
- What's-You got a spasm? - [Chuckles]
I'm tied up. Why don't you check my back pocket?
I'm not the target. You are.
Both of you. They found out you're married...
so they teamed up and sent you to the same hit to target each other.
It was a joint task force by both your companies.
Two competing agents living under the same roof. It's bad for business.
- They wanted you to take each other out. - You were bait.
Well, it's entry level. Toehold into the company.
Couple hits, they bump me up to a desk.
It's pretty cool actually.
You keep the photo in your back pocket?
- What was I supposed to do? Frame it? - You get rid of it. You burn it.
- Tradecraft 101. - I'm sorry. I guess I skipped that day.
Just like I guess you skipped the day about not marrying the enemy.
You were bait, or you are bait?
Belt. Belt. Belt, dude.
[Electronic Twittering]
Two minutes.
One minute.
[Man] I'll get you closer.
A little help.
- [Man] Clear. - [Man #2] Clear.
[Benjamin] Hey, I think I chipped my tooth. Do you know if we have dental?
My way out is a boat standing by in La Paz.
Cargo drop, Atlas Mountains. So what?
So, at least, apart, we know what the odds are.
Let's just call this what it is...
and what it isn't.
All right. So it's a crap marriage.
All right. I'm a mess. You're a disaster.
We're both liars.
But you run, you'll always be running.
I say we stay and we fight.
We finish this thing.
Then if you wanna go, you can go.
Oh, thank you.
What? "Let's call this what it is." Jesus Christ.
[Thump]
- Stop. - Don't.
[Thump]
[Vehicle Approaching]
[Helicopter Whirring]
Oh, Jesus.
This is a really good store.
[Helicopter Whirring]
- See you in the next life, Jane. - Likewise, John.
[Groans]
Oh. [Scoffs]
Sorry.
We'll talk about this later.
[Grunts]
[Knife Clatters]
[Whispers] Jesus!
- I didn't touch a thing. - Yes, you did.
[Machine Gun Fire]
##[Lounge]
[Elevator Bell Dings]
- [Both Panting] - ##[Continues]
- Sorry about the, uh, knife in- - I don't want to talk about it.
[Elevator Bell Dings]
- I'll fly. - I'll be bait.
- I'm goin' clockwise, so watch my 6:00. - All right.
[Groans]
Go! Move!
[Groans]
[Both Groaning]
[Gunshots]
[Groans]
How's it look?
It's a piece of cake.
Watch these. They tend to jam. So watch 'em.
You favor your left, sweetheart, so look out for right.
Damn. That boat in La Paz is lookin' pretty good right now, isn't it?
Well, it rains a lot this time of year.
Shut up.
[Wexler] I'm interested in the progress you've made in the last few weeks.
Uh, doin' all right, aren't we?
I mean, listen. I'm not gonna lie to you.
There were times I just wanted to- [Clicks Tongue]
- Kill her, but, uh- - Likewise.
Couldn't take the shot.
- That's a good sign. - Who would've thought.
- Sometimes you have to battle through. - Hmm.
- That's marriage, right? - Yeah. You take your best shot and-
- Oh. We redid the house. - Hmm.
We did. Yes, we did.
- You know, there will always be challenges. - Uh-huh.
- Threats out there. - Yep.
But you can handle it together.
- So far. - Yes, we ca- So far?
Oh, what is that?
I'm leaving room for the unknown.
So far.
And do you feel that your relationship styles...
- are more conducive to the free flow- - Ask us the sex question.
John.
- Uh, well, that- - [Whispers] Ten.